Not Just A Minion

Posted by Paige

I was never really very sure about having children. I am an only child and never had a lot of experience with babies and had literally only baby sat two (very good) children in my whole life. I didn’t know what to do with babies, with all their weird, jerky body movements and fluids and crying. I had changed only a handful of diapers in my life. So when my husband and I reverted back to the Catholic Church and learned all about the true meaning of a marital vocation, I was a bit skeptical. I agonized over the whole decision, wondering if my years away had shut my mind and heart off from my true calling, which must have been to be a nun, since kids scared me so much. Greg just wanted me to trust and go with it, but also understood my very real, if inexplicable, fear of tiny humans.

I knew at some point, though, that my “grave reasons” really didn’t feel so grave and I knew that I would have to just accept that children would be something that would come unless one of us was infertile. With NFP, I was pretty sure that wasn’t the case. So, we abandoned the rules and started to TTW (trying to whatever). We got pregnant almost right away, which for me, was pretty hard. (Please don’t hate me. For me, not having that built-in window of time to really get used to the idea might be almost as hard as waiting for someone who takes a little while to get pregnant). I knew as soon as I saw the temperature jump, and the third day of this (which happened to be St. Gerard’s feast day) I knew for sure. I was a ball of anxiety. Now there was a baby. It was real. I was terrified of something happening to it, and knew that now it was in there and it only had 2 ways out, neither of which sounded very appealing to me. I also had a stomach bug and coupled with my intense anxiety, I was a mess.

After about 4 days of not sleeping, I decided to go to adoration. I needed something to take my mind off of the reality of things at the moment. It was very cold that night, and I walked into a quiet church. I cried the entire hour. Sobbed, actually. I asked Jesus to help me and to give me the grace to push through the fear and be happy. I asked Him to please take it away from me so I could enjoy what obviously was a gift. I also felt very convinced that it was God’s will, since it seemed like He gave us a baby the moment I stopped being closed off to the idea. Toward the end of the hour, clear as day, the song “You Are Mine” floated through my head. Now, I HATE this song. It’s cheesy and we sing it too much and I just didn’t like it at all. But at that moment, the chorus struck me:

 

Do not be afraid, I am with you

I have called you each by name

Come and follow me, I will lead you home

I love you, and you are mine

I went home that night and slept peacefully for the first time in a week, woke up the next morning and was fine. It was all gone.

We chose Eliana’s name sort of on accident. We had a girl’s name picked out for most of our relationship, despite my never being sure about having kids. We had a boy’s name ready, too, since we didn’t find out the gender of the baby. I’m not even entirely sure where I heard the name, though I think it might have been from one of my #Cathsorority sisters. It’s a form of  Helena for Greg’s grandmother, Helen, and Claire for my grandmother and aunt. I found out later what her name meant. Eliana is Hebrew for “My God has answered.” Claire means clear or bright in French. My doubt baby, this precious child that I never knew I could even want, but love more than words can even express? Her name literally means “My God has answered- CLEARLY!”

**This Post is Part of the Team Whitaker Baby Name Link Up**

"There's something on your face, bro,"

Posted by Greg

I feel that Ash Wednesday may be one of the most difficult days in the liturgical calendar, especially if you attend Mass prior to your workday. For a couple of years, I’ve actually asked for the day off, just so I wouldn’t have to deal with the questions. Let me preface this by explaining my job. I am the shipping and receiving wizard at a machine shop in which no one, other than myself, is a practicing Catholic. That, coupled with the attitudes and demeanor that exist in a machine shop make it a difficult place to witness.  Let’s just say that the conversations are, ironically so, not safe for work.

Enter: Ash Wednesday.

This year I decided that I wasn’t going to let myself shy away from visibly expressing the invisible truth all day at work. What makes this so difficult is to do this with humility. I don’t want to keep my head down to avoid notice, but I don’t want to walk around acting proud of the fact that I wear my ashes in public(even though I kind of am). 

I am reminded of today’s Gospel reading:

mt 6:1-6, 16-18

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Take care not to perform righteous deeds
in order that people may see them;
otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father.
When you give alms,
do not blow a trumpet before you,
as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets
to win the praise of others.
Amen, I say to you,
they have received their reward.
But when you give alms,
do not let your left hand know what your right is doing,
so that your almsgiving may be secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.

“When you pray,
do not be like the hypocrites,
who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners
so that others may see them.
Amen, I say to you,
they have received their reward.
But when you pray, go to your inner room,
close the door, and pray to your Father in secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.

“When you fast,
do not look gloomy like the hypocrites.
They neglect their appearance,
so that they may appear to others to be fasting.
Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.
But when you fast,
anoint your head and wash your face,
so that you may not appear to be fasting,
except to your Father who is hidden.
And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.”

So don’t be a hypocrite. This is hardest part. I’m wearing ashes, but I don’t want to necessarily bring attention to myself and say “Look at me! I’m Catholic! I’m fasting! I’m so much cooler than all of you losers!” 

I just blog about it.

But seriously, though, I believe that God wants us to fast and wear our ashes for the world to see, the more trying task is being humble while you do it. Try to be knowledgeable of our traditions and why we practice them. You never know. You may just plant the seeds of conversion with your witness while you’re starving and covered in soot.

Oh, and here’s an explanation for why we get ashed:

http://www.catholic.com/quickquestions/why-do-catholics-practice-fasting-and-abstinence-during-lent

-Greg

Introduction

We are the Deaners. My wife is Paige, I'm Greg, and our little 8-month-old minion is Eliana. We are Magisterium-following, rosary-swinging, ash-wearing Catholics. Here is a brief history of our lives together:

The Meeting
Paige and Greg meet at a funeral. Talk. She friends him on Myspace(Old School!). They chat. He says her boyfriend is a jerk. She calls him a jerk. She blocks him. Adeau forever?

The Haircut
Two years pass. She magically reappears on his friend list with hot short haircut. He asks her when she became hot. She says she's always been hot and he's a jerk for not noticing. They start talking again.

The Proposal
He says "wouldn't it be funny if we started dating?". They date for three months. They adopt cats. He says "Wouldn't it be funny if we got married?". The get engaged and get married many months later. It was funny.

The Conversions
She gets a calling from Mother Mary. Can't deny it. Starts going to church. She asks to have the marriage convalidated. He says "sure, whatevs". He starts going to church and marriage prep. He figures out that this stuff makes alot of sense. He converts.

The Minion
He plus she = another she.

And here we are! I just realized this is the only photo with all three of us that I can find.